Do you ever wish that you could just stop for a moment and sit in the audience of your life? Just cheer yourself on for a change instead of being an active participant?
Chaos continues to envelope my life and I'm not completely sure how to stop it, or pause it even just for a little while.
My sons father is moving 6 hours away he justifys this by saying he'll have better work prospects (thing is he is moving back to the place where we grew up, back to the place where he was constantly unemployed) what he didn't tell our child is that last week he got himself a girlfriend so essentially he's moving to be closer to her.
My heart is breaking for my child he is hurting so much... His tears are non-stop and I can't understand why anyone would want to leave their child especially a person who was so desperate to become a father. I know I'm strong but I wonder how long till the strength is sapped?
- Mood:
pissed off
One of my closest friends got married on Wednesday (09/09/09) in Byron Bay and it was beautiful and relaxing and so much fun... She was absolutely divine and I was so blessed because some of my friends from other parts of the country were also there (including my very best mate). I was also lucky enough to come away with some really great new friendships.
An interesting discovery though - As I watched my friend and her new husband I couldn't help but feel my heart flutter, they ooze love and adoration they are so into one another it's the most beautiful thing to watch... And as I watched I tried to think of a moment in my marriage (even tried to think back to those early years) and I don't ever remember feeling that way about my husband and it made me feel more confident in my decision to end the marriage all those months ago.
- Mood:
refreshed
Where oh where did my confidence go,
Oh where oh where could it be?
- Mood: hopeful
However I should point out that I was infact a teenager in the 90s so for me my favourite teen flick is American Pie - the original and the absolute hands down best... SUCK ME BEAUTIFUL!
My friend told me about this site attached facebook and I joined it to have a giggle at this dude who lives in my town... He looks like an old leather belt, he dyes his hair black and straightens it and wears his blouse thing with most of its buttons undone - I'm fairly certain he thinks he's an old rocker like Nikki Sixx or Gilby Clarke... Anyway I didn't find him BUT I did find 2 other dudes. The first sent me a picture of his rather nasty hard-on (again ewwww that's not the kinda thing that floats my boat) and the second is this pretty cool guy who lives about an hour away and blah blah blah it's all quite a bit of fun - yay me!!!
Oh and for the record I don't plan on this becoming a dating diary of any description it just so happens that my last two entries have turned out that way!
- Mood: rejuvenated
Well I'm a singlet now and getting back into the swing of things is all a bit weird... I'm sure the male of the species has changed massively since I was last a free bird! For instance: Ten years ago when I was 20 and single and a party girl there was none of these text messaging things or instant messaging on the internet so none of the pure filth that boys seem to enjoy was available... Seriously I don't enjoy hardcore pornographic talk (that said I don't mind a bit of innuendo)! Or how bout this one: Last night I was let off the leash and able to go down the club for a bit of a boogie... I've just turned 30 and I had a charming young footballer (19 he was) walk up stick his head between my boobies, blow a raspberry then wander off - nice!
It's all quite scary and new but it's also pretty damn exciting... I have a brand new life and it's only just beginning!
- Mood:
pensive - Music:Heavy Cross
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